a long and smelly day

This morning someone farted on my A train to work and I almost passed out because the fumes of death were circling around me and causing me to slowly choke. I’m not sure how I survived. Followed by that experience, I was walking to work and this woman walked by, no less than 2 feet away from me and I kid you not, she smelled like she had cut onions and then rubbed them all over her body, then used the extra cut onion juices to wash her face with. I just gave up on life.

But you know who doesn’t give up. Superhero action figure people who are tied to the bars on windows. Oh no. oh no my friends. They press on. The will not give up. They’ll say.... Come here with your fart and we’ll take it like the HEROS WE ARE. Then they’ll say, listen up onion woman, the people have had enough of your rancid stank. CLEAN IT UP! Dove that shit up until you smell like fresh spring rain or mountain poppies or some shit.

Oh yes, my friends. Superhero action figures. Tied to a window. Rock on.